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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25807072">A to Z</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternallylost/pseuds/eternallylost'>eternallylost</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Blue Lock (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst?, Break Up, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, Post-Break Up, to Strangers?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:08:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25807072</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternallylost/pseuds/eternallylost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a story of love, told from A to Z</p><p> </p><p>[also posted on twitter as a thread!]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mikage Reo/Shidou Ryuusei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A to Z</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>one of the lines here was stuck in my mind and i just /had/ to write it. so this fic was born.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>A is for the month he first saw that beautiful man: so elegant, so mysterious, so out of his league. By Ryuusei's luck, the said man sat next to him at the far back of the room and oh, A is definitely also for the thing he felt the moment he saw the guy up close: attraction, strong and undeniable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>B is for the first word he ever heard off those soft pretty lips. "Bullshit," his seatmate muttered under his breath, clearly pissed at whoever he's been texting ever since the class started. The stranger's eyebrows were knitted together, lips slowly jutting into a pout, blowing some strands of his purple hair away from his face. (It's cute.) So he wasn't as prim and proper and strait-laced as Ryuusei originally judged at first glance. (He hadn’t considered the dyed hair as some sort of rebellious statement, just a fashionable one.) Ryuusei was interested, but the professor dismissed them and the man was gone in an instant. Maybe next time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>C is for the place where they cross paths again: at the campus coffee shop. A muscular man in a suit bumped into Ryuusei, in a real hurry to leave, even his apology was rushed. Ryuusei stumbled at the impact and ended up gripping too hard on the cup in his hand, causing the lid to pop off, his iced americano splashing onto the shoulder of the guy seated nearest him. (Thankfully, only the jacket got wet.) There was an audible gasp followed by a "</span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>" and the purple hair tied in a small bun was all Ryuusei needed to recognize that the coffee-soaked guy is the same cute guy in Tuesday second period. Ryuusei wasn't one to pass up on his lucky chances, so he put on his most charming smile and voiced out his sincere apologies. He offered to wash the jacket but the guy refused because “it’s just coffee”. Ryuusei asked if he was waiting for anyone, and welcomed himself into the seat across him when the guy shook his head. Ryuusei was a natural conversationalist but Reo’s quick wit made it even easier to talk to him. The next thing they knew, they were running late for their separate classes; their discourse on the best MCU film saved for a promised next time, and Reo's number in Ryuusei's phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>D is for the way that coffee shop encounter changed their lives: drastically, but in the best way Ryuusei could ever imagine. They texted a lot since then, and hung out whenever they had common free time in between classes. Reo wasn’t one to make a lot of friends, always preferred to be alone, but Ryuusei dragged him along everywhere. (Reo could have declined, but he never did.) They were so distinctly different but maybe that’s why they got along so well. Anyone who met the two of them separately would be surprised to find out they were close friends, with Ryuusei looking like your typical delinquent, and Reo looking the epitome of delicacy. But anyone who saw them together would wonder if they were really </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>close friends. They had interesting dynamics, their roles would often reverse from time to time: Reo being the stubborn one, Ryuusei being the quiet one, Ryuusei being strict, Reo being carefree-- they just went with whatever they felt, really. They adjusted to each other and balanced each other out like it was the easiest thing in the world.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>E is for the way Ryuusei felt every time they were together: ecstatic and enchanted. Reo was an enigma, a beautiful one at that, and Ryuusei felt like a goddamn genius extremely hooked on figuring out everything about him. It’s been five months since they first met, but every genuine smile Reo directed at him made his heart explode in his chest like it’s the first time he’s seen something so wonderful. Reo was amazing and Ryuusei was slowly losing his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>F is for how they shamelessly flirt with each other, albeit only playfully (but god, does it feel real). Ryuusei tried to be creative with his endearments (mostly to embarrass Reo), but his favorite was “little purple bun”, as it got the best reaction from Reo: a blush dusting his cheeks, face contorted, conflicted between wanting to hit Ryuusei for the gross sappy tone he delivered it with, and wanting to facepalm because of how lame it was. When Reo was in the mood, he would act spoiled and clingy, trying to annoy Ryuusei, especially when they’re lazing around at Ryuusei’s apartment. (Reo only lived in the next building but with his parents who were always away on business trips anyway.) Little did he know that Ryuusei actually enjoyed it. It only got annoying for Ryuusei when he reached the point of wanting to kiss Reo to shut him up, because it’s frustrating how he </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> do that. F is also for the fear of rejection, the fear of losing it all just because he wanted more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>G is for the way Reo looked when Reo confessed under the stars, that one camping trip they went on in the last few days of summer break. (Reo’s idea. It was one of those times when Reo was feeling adventurous and impulsive.) Reo was glowing, beautiful. Ryuusei tried his hardest to engrave the sight into his memory: Reo’s small but sweet smile that was surely for Ryuusei alone, and the warm flickering light of the campfire highlighting his sharp features in a soft incandescent glow. The Reo right there sitting two feet away from him. The Reo who said “I like you, Ryuusei… you know, in the ‘I want to date you’ kind of way”, leaving no room for doubt if Reo meant what Ryuusei thought he meant. Time seemed to stop for Ryuusei, basking in the bliss of requited feelings. It was only when Reo nudged him by the shoulder that he realized he had not responded yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Am I dreaming?” he pipes out, trying to pull some sappy shit. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I mean, if it made you uncomfortable, we can pretend you just dreamt about this.” Reo replied, looking away to stare at the fire as if it were the most interesting thing around. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? Wait! No! Ugh…” Ryuusei facepalms at his own mistake, this was definitely not a time to be silly. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He scooted closer to Reo and cups the beautiful man’s face in his hands, wanting Reo to look directly at him as Ryuusei confesses his feelings. Reo couldn’t help but giggle when Ryuusei used the same words that he did, with the tone and the pause and all. Ryuusei wanted to say more sappy things but Reo had already pulled him into a sweet and gentle kiss, just a press of lips against Ryuusei’s own. Their first kiss. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>H is for the part of Reo that Ryuusei wanted to hold so much, to feel how they fit in his own rough and warm ones. So when they started dating, Ryuusei took every opportunity, made it a habit, to hold Reo’s hands (rarely in public, because they lived in a society. Ryuusei said fuck society but he acknowledged Reo's concern). Maybe it’s exaggerated but Reo’s hands were seemingly made for Ryuusei to hold. Reo on the other hand, loved hugs but only in the comfort of Ryuusei's apartment.  There, he would cling onto Ryuusei like a koala bear, especially when one of them was tired and needed to "recharge". And when he cuddled his little purple bun in the nights he slept over, Ryuusei couldn’t help but think all of Reo was made for him to hold and cherish. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I is for how they spent most of their days. They were inseparable, but not in a way that they were all over each other 24/7. They just preferred to work in each other’s presence. Even before they got together, they often studied together or worked on separate projects on Ryuusei’s dining table. They were incredibly competitive with each other. Seeing one work challenged the other to also be productive. They would have bets on their grades or how much schoolwork they could finish in a night: the consequences ranging from something simple as buying dinner, to the more creative ones, especially when they started dating. In the rare times that university workload would allow them some free time, they would spend time with their friends, still rarely separately. Reo introduced him to Nagi, his childhood friend, and was relieved when they got along through their common interest: football. Nagi was important to Reo and Ryuusei was glad to have gotten on his good side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J is for that weird feeling that creates a lot of conflict in those cliche cringey romance films he and Reo would binge together on a free weekend; a feeling that he never felt. Ryuusei was unfamiliar with jealousy. He never had a reason to feel jealous because he knew very well that Reo liked him and only him. Even when Reo stayed over at his groupmate’s house for a project, he never worried. Jealousy was for the weak, for those who feel like their lover would want to find someone better than them. Reo smiled at Ryuusei, held him, and kissed him like he was the only one that matters. Ryuusei never felt jealous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>K is for the place where Reo first said he loved Ryuusei. It was in the kitchen (Ryuusei's), one late Sunday morning after they stayed up late finishing a project, and Ryuusei was cooking up a simple breakfast while Reo watched him from the counter. "I'm in love with you" slipped from Reo's lips and even he himself was surprised (he accidentally thought it out loud), Ryuusei almost dropped the pan. Reo blushed as he stuttered and tried to explain. Ryuusei only laughed and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, whispering "I love you" before going back to the stove. K is also for the countless kisses they've shared everywhere. The long heated makeout sessions were great and all, but Ryuusei thinks there's nothing like the innocent little kisses Reo gave him to show his appreciation, or just randomly when he's happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>L is for the things they talked about in late-night conversations, when their drained bodies and exhausted minds were in dire need of a break from numerous deadlines as they get closer to graduation with each semester. They would sit side by side out on the small balcony, gazing out to the city (though there was nothing much: just a road 8 floors below, and a row of establishments, and a view of city lights in the distance peeking over the top of the smaller buildings). Ryuusei twirled Reo's hair around his fingers while they talked about their dreams and plans for the uncertain future. Their future. Oh, how Ryuusei loved to dream about the rest of his lifetime with Reo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>M is for the way they handled the problem that came along a few months after graduation: maturely, because they knew how to adjust. Reo came over with great news of being hired by a multinational company wanting him to start immediately. Ryuusei was extremely happy for him, until Reo told him he had to move away to the prefecture he was assigned to. They didn’t break up, no, Ryuusei was not stupid enough to let Reo go just because he was moving miles away. He couldn’t move with Reo because he had just started working at a good company, but he had a motorcycle, he can visit Reo every weekend. He promised to. They agreed it was the best. They were young and their careers were just starting. Distance won't break them anyway, Ryuusei thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>N is for how the days went by after Reo left for his new job: they felt normal. Ryuusei was proud of him and it motivated Ryuusei to work harder. For the first few weeks Ryuusei kept true to his promise. He visited Reo at his new place, neat and cozy. Reo complained it lacked Ryuusei and that was how Ryuusei ended up with four less shirts in his drawer and one less hoodie in his rack. They also texted during free time, and at night they called each other until one fell asleep. Everything was fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>O is for the way they slowly grew apart: obscure, though it really should have been obvious. A month into Reo’s employment, Ryuusei received the opportunity to spearhead a huge project, and Ryuusei was not one to miss out on his lucky chances. Of course, the first person he told was Reo, who wished him the best of luck and promised a celebration when Ryuusei comes over again. As the both of them grew busier by the day, they slowly spent less and less time together. There were nights when Reo would be too tired to even talk over the phone, and weekends when Ryuusei couldn’t come over because of conflict in schedules. They both didn’t think much of it. They understood, and believed the other understood their situation. And really, they did, but they were both oblivious of how normal their lives started to feel without each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oblivious to how they slept comfortably without the warmth that used to bring them so much comfort.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oblivious to the way they stopped craving for the presence that used to be the constant, calming force in each other’s dynamic lives.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oblivious to how they were drifting away from the lifetime they imagined together on Ryuusei’s balcony. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So oblivious of the little things that were no more. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>P is for what Reo and Ryuusei weren’t: perfect. They were human, bound to break and make mistakes. Reo and Ryuusei gradually projected their stress onto each other. They argued pointlessly, when what they really needed was to be comforted. Sometimes it ended peacefully. Sometimes they’d just drop it without resolving anything because they were both just tired of everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Q is for the way they reached the breaking point: the end came creeping at their door, quickly and oh so quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>R is for the harsh reality crashing down on the two of them. In a matter of months, they’ve fallen out of touch with each other. The distance didn’t break them, but the time they spent apart in completely new environments changed them bit by bit, and they weren’t around to adjust to each other like they used to. In retrospect, Ryuusei should have seen it coming. The past few months, they’ve gone days without talking, and when they met up, they would fight over the smallest things. Then the small cracks in their relationship finally connected and broke under pressure, and it all seemed beyond repair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The most rational thing to do is to break up. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That was Reo’s response when Ryuusei shouted “What do you want me to do?” in frustration. He couldn’t even remember what they were fighting about.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The coldness and resolve in his tone was so clear to Ryuusei. With that, he knew Reo had already thought it through. He knew because he knew Reo better than anyone else. And so, Ryuusei reluctantly agreed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He didn’t want to argue, didn’t want to hurt Reo any further, but he was hurting and the pain messed with his mind. He remembered saying words he didn’t mean, vaguely remembered saying “you’ve been waiting for this all along” and how it was “that easy” for Reo to end everything. He remembered saying “maybe you never even loved me at all”, and how he regretted it because he never for a second really doubted Reo.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>S is for the place he runs off to, to...  clear his mind? Scream in pain? Cry to himself? Ryuusei didn’t know. But he took off his shoes and socks, rolled up his pants, and walked silently along the shore. The warm summer sea washing over his feet was calming in a way, but it did nothing to soothe the ache in Ryuusei’s heart. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>T is for the tossing and turning every night in Ryuusei’s bed. The days after the break-up didn’t treat him so well. (He didn’t expect it to.) T for the tears Ryuusei held back in the nights and mornings as every corner, every space of his little apartment reminded him of Reo. Outside Ryuusei’s four walls, days passed like normal. Except that Ryuusei was constantly tormented by thoughts of what he should’ve done, what he could’ve done to avoid this outcome. And no matter how tempting it got, Ryuusei held himself from trying to contact Reo, because as much as it hurt, Reo was right. Breaking up was the best for them. They were young and they needed time to grow, time for oneself, time apart. Gone were the days they relied so much on each other throughout their university life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>U is for the way Ryuusei kept seeing Reo in his dreams. In every dream, Reo stood at a distance and smiled at Ryuusei like he was the only one that mattered again. And every time, Ryuusei would try to approach him. But with every step he took, Reo seemed to move farther away. It was unfair, the way he was unable to reach out and touch the man he loved, even in his own dreams.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>V is for the small box he kept in the bottom drawer of his apartment that had become void of all the things Reo left over the countless times he stayed over, all of it now in a box ready to go. Ryuusei picks up the velvet box, turning it over and over in his palm. Inside was a ring, the promise ring he was supposed to give Reo on the day he was supposed to suggest moving in together, but Reo came over with news of his great new job. Looking back, Ryuusei should’ve given it to Reo that day, the symbol of his promise to love him forever. (Maybe it could have reminded Reo of his love on the days Ryuusei failed to show it.) But when Ryuusei thinks about Reo returning it to him on the day they broke up, he was kind of glad he didn’t. His gaze flitted from the small box to the box of Reo’s things, and back. He threw the velvet box into the box labeled “REO MIKAGE” and closed it before he could change his mind. He still loved Reo, and his unspoken promise will stand even if Reo didn’t want it anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>W is for the cold winter nights he missed Reo the most. Four months gone and Reo’s warmth was still so distinct in his memory. He never expected to see him again around since Reo lived far away, but he did. And god, did it hurt to see him again. He only saw Reo’s back but Nagi was with him, a hand keeping warm in Reo’s coat pocket as Reo looked at the pastries on display. Ryuusei recognized the feeling despite never having felt it before: jealousy. When Reo turned and his eyes met Ryuusei’s, Ryuusei turned around and walked away as fast as he could. Jealousy felt like a chilly winter breeze spreading throughout his body, and he despised it. Jealousy was for the weak, and Ryuusei was at his weakest. (Despite all of that, Ryuusei was glad to see him doing well, even if it was with someone else.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>X is for the way he's still so hopelessly in love with a certain man who found his home in another-- so painful and so wrong. Sitting alone in the middle of his new apartment that felt bigger than ever yet still so suffocating, Ryuusei stared at the slice of strawberry shortcake he brought on the way home. They were supposed to be celebrating their sixth anniversary, but “they” were no more. Reo probably remembered, too, but unlike Ryuusei, he wasn’t alone. He had Nagi to hold him and whisper comforting words into his ear until he felt better, but that’s only if he would even feel sad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ryuusei did try to date here and there, went along with whoever his friends and co-workers would set him up with (mostly women).</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But in the end, all of it felt wrong. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His mind would always wander to Reo.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How Reo would’ve reacted, how any of them couldn’t compare to how beautiful Reo was (and still is), and how no one was half as interesting as Reo. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ryuusei was hopeless.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Y is for the time that has passed since that one spring day he first saw that beautiful face, and all the memories from then on. He had always been good with remembering dates. Sometimes, he wished he wasn't. Six and a half years since he got his phone number. Six years since they started officially dating. One year, one month, three days, eight hours (or maybe nine? he's too drunk to be sure) since he walked out of Reo’s life. It’s been so long, yet he still yearns and yearns. He's had his time to grow, his time alone. He had a stable job, a decent apartment of his own, but all he truly wanted was Reo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Z is for the way he wanders aimlessly in the late of the night: zombie-like, inebriated and lost. He feels so hollow, so dead inside, but still he keeps walking. When he finally sobers up, he's lying on a bench at the park near their old apartment complex, a few hours before dawn. Memories surge through his head together with the hangover. His favorite memories that made him laugh now only felt like torture. They hurt far worse than the headache, but Ryuusei closes his eyes and watched his memories play back. It was painful, but Reo was beautiful.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>------</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the reonagi was intentionally kinda vague but if u want my hc (yeah the author has an hc she doesn't want to push onto others): reo and nagi are not dating... ryuusei just assumed they were together............ but nagi never mentioned seeing ryuusei that night. reo is still also in love w ryuusei..... </p><p> </p><p>anyway! comments are VERY much appreciated &lt;3 thank you for reading !!</p><p>scream at me on twitter: @ultbarou</p></blockquote></div></div>
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